Stepford Wedding

2009-08-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

I've known since early-on in the planning process that I wanted a photo booth. And that a real one is not in the budget. So I've been excitedly following each new, creative fauxtobooth idea that has come out.

I loved the classic look of the pro-manned Mrs. Avocado black and white booth - especially the use of the whiteboard!

How could I resist the photo frame wall?!?! I seriously spent an entire day brainstorming ways to adapt this to make it easy for volunteers/friends to set-up before admitting that I just couldn't do it.

And Our Labor Of Love's SmileBooth always has great results...

I considered creating a whole photo booth set-up, a la Mrs. Fondue, but started to get overwhelmed by the idea. Then I started to think about just setting up a backdrop, and having a designated photographer (slave/cousin). In the end though, it was just too hard. The only place where there is really room at the reception is on the front porch, and I just couldn't come up with anything that wouldn't look icky as people walked up.

I knew I wanted people to be able to leave messages, but I thought that a whole printer set-up would be way too complicated. I was convinced for a long time that I'd just provide white/chalkboards and have people write their message in the photo, and then print out the pictures as a book after the wedding, to serve as the guestbook. I'd post the photos online for everyone so they could see them all and order any that they wanted. It was such a good plan.

I just couldn't figure out where to set it up.

And then came pogo. Thank you, Polaroid, for coming out with a digital camera that prints 2x3 stickers! New plan: Just a general area with no backdrop. Slave/cousin takes photos or hands camera to guests (and makes sure that the battery stays charged and the film stays full). Guests take pictures, print them directly from the camera, and stick them into guestbook. Colorful pens provided for them to write notes/doodle/etc. Pictures are still uploaded for them to look at/order later!

Of course, the camera didn't come out until this summer, and is constantly sold out, so it was hard to track down, but it is on its way to me *right now*! (And thanks to my employee discount, I got 10% off by ordering it from target.com - I am seriously using every discount before I leave this job!) I can't wait to take it out and play around with it.

Engagement photos

2009-08-04T12:22:00.001-07:00

Our wedding photographer, Beth Harris, also did our engagement shoot. We met with her at Maymont Park in Richmond, and had a great time getting some shots in. She was super-quick about getting the digitals to me (I was just slow in posting!)

My favorite:

Want to see the rest? Click here.

I know, I owe a million posts!

2009-07-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Here's what I owe you, but am not going to talk about right now:

bridesmaid dresses came in
rsvps have started coming back
I did a trial run of the chocolates
I'm not baking cupcakes
our engagement photos
other photos
the band!
hair and make-up trials
shoes
programs
photobooth planning

Instead, I'm going with something that requires no uploading of photos (because I'm lazy). I got a job offer! Actually, I got two job offers, and turned them both down. Now, if you are paying any attention to the legal market right now, you realize that I'm completely stressed out about finding a job. You realize that I'm applying for everything that I might even conceivably have a chance at, and that's only about 2-3 jobs each week (that's not many). And I'm not getting interviews.

In light of all that, you may even think that I've lost my mind. How on earth could I turn down two actual, real job offers?! Well, largely, it's about priorities. Getting married is changing my priorities. I can no longer make choices just based on what seems best for me. I have to actually take another person into account! And what's more, he reminds me to take my own sanity into account instead of just following the money.

One of the jobs would have been a temp job that required traveling 2/3 weeks. I think I would have been a perfect fit for the type of work - just not the schedule. It would have started two weeks before my current position was over (and that first 2 weeks of traveling would have ended the day before the wedding). So, without a regret, I said no.

The other job was part-time, and not in a town we want to settle in. The work would have been fine, but wasn't exactly what I'm looking for. And again, I felt good about saying no.

...but there is a small part of me that feels ungrateful. I mean, who complains about finding a job and then turns down two job offers?!

Invitations are out!

2009-06-29T09:06:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago, while MOH and I were both visiting home (and each other), we had an addressing party. My mom and I went over the the maid-of-honor's mom's , and the four of us (MOH, MOB, me, and MO-MOH) put the invitations together. MO-MOH owns a business that is largely based on her ability to write beautifully, and MOH has been helping her mom with that for longer than I've known her (and that's more than 10 years now). So they took over the main task of addressing the envelopes (and I did a few, mostly out of guilt over the fact that they were being so sweet!).

My mom pitched in as the official stamper and stuffer. We used forever stamps that I bought right before the prices went up (for both the invitations and the RSVP envelopes). They may not be the most wedding-y, but I am proud of the money I saved by doing it this way.

So I've been patiently waiting to send them out. And I think it's close enough now! Last night, Mr. L and I finished everything up. I re-addressed envelopes to a few people that I know have moved, and to my grandmother (whose husband recently passed away). Mr. L was sweet enough to tackle the unfortunate duty of licking all the envelopes (I do love him). Some of them weren't very sticky, so he actually licked and glue-sticked most of them. It makes me wonder what other DIY projects he could be helping out on!

This morning on my way to work, they all went in the post box! Suddenly, it feels like the wedding is very soon.

Why I love Etsy (so far)

2009-06-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

I really do love etsy. I have lost count of how many gifts I've bought from etsy vendors, and I know that the homepage always has great inspiration when I'm at a loss. So it was a logical choice when I started wedding planning. Of course I'd use alchemy/custom to find things when I knew what I wanted but couldn't find it, and of course etsy would be an easy choice when I wanted quality that I shouldn't be able to afford!

First, I went to etsy for invitations. I found an amazing letterpress printer who worked with me (and that's a major accomplishment, considering how many revisions I made!) to design exactly the invitation suite I wanted, and then ran half of the set through the letterpress twice, just to make sure it looked perfect! He was absolutely amazing, and less than half the price of even some of the DIY kits I looked at!

Then I turned to etsy for wedding bands. I am super excited about this one (as I have mentioned before). I love our bands. I love that they were custom-made for us (even though they don't have an inscription). I love that they are titanium, so they feel a little special to me. I love the price (and I'll love the price even more if we ever need to replace one). And I love that the seller has an easy exchange policy in case we change sizes (since titanium can't be re-sized). I sooo couldn't be happier about this purchase!

I also bought Mr. L's wedding present on etsy, but that's a surprise! The seller was, as usual, great to work with, and I got a great deal on something totally personal.

The fabric that I was desperately looking for to cover the cupcake tower? Someone on etsy had some that was perfect (read: exactly what I envisioned), and for a steal! They were uber-responsive, and I had exactly as much as I needed, pronto! I think one of the best things about etsy is that the quality of the items I order consistently surprises me by being even better than I expected. This was a great example of just that. This was wonderful, heavy fabric!

Most recently, I had someone one etsy create the design that I printed on my cookie bags! I put up an alchemy request, and ended up with a design I love for a great price with great customer service. I also discovered the work of a great graphic designer, and I'm convinced that I'll come up with some excuse to buy something from her again in the near future.

The Cupcake Tower

2009-06-03T19:42:00.001-07:00

I finally made the cupcake tower. I hope that it'll work out as well when there are actually cupcakes on it!

I used the tutorial here as a guide for making the foam core tiers. I did make each tier shorter so that it wouldn't seem so overwhelming (mine are only 2" each instead of 6" tall).

Then I had to figure out how to stack them/what to use to separate them. I was inspired by round gift boxes used for my mom's mothers' day gift. They were just about the right height, and it seemed like we could attach the lid to one box and the base to the other so that they could be taken apart, but would fit nicely together. There was a little evolution from there, and I ended up with these foam core tubes made from the scraps left over from making the tiers.

There are cross supports that fit snugly in each tube attached to the tiers so that the tubes slide onto the cross on the top of one tier and the bottom of the next. The result is a tower that collapses to a relatively small pile but should be pretty stable when assembled (and should be super-simple to assemble). I think. I even labeled the support tubes on the inside so that it'll be easy to see which one fits best where (because I'm only so exact, and each is a little different from the next).

Finally, I covered it all in pretty striped fabric from etsy.

The fabric (with enough left over that I think I may be able to use it to recover the seats of my dining room chairs), incl shipping, etc.: $16
The glue gun, tons more glue than I'll ever use, and foamboard (with about 3 boards left): $12.22

total cost of project: $28.22

A San Francisco Treat

2009-05-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

I will always associate trolleys with San Fran. It was the first place I saw one. And from that first trip on my childhood, I was delighted. It's perhaps the only form of public transportation that I think of as cute and adorable and nostalgic (trains just seem dirty and loud to me). And I LOVE wedding pictures featuring trolleys!

Our reception location is in a historic neighborhood, and the only parking is on the street, so I wanted to make sure to offer some sort of transportation for our guests if at all possible. I was debating exactly what kind of transportation to provide (will a full-sized charter bus fit on those little streets, or should I go with multiple smaller buses), when I discovered that there is a transport company in Richmond that rents out trolleys! They have two, which I think will be just enough for us (hopefully everyone who wants to ride will be able to).

This is the interior of the trolley we'll be getting! I am a little worried about the fact that they don't have A/C - it will still be earlier September. I'm hoping that a cooler filled with ice-cold drinks will make up for it.

So far, it seems like Winn Transportation is really easy to work with. I can't wait to see the trolley on The Day!

Rings!

2009-05-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

We went ring shopping this weekend, and I ordered our wedding bands this morning!

We checked out all the options - titanium, gold, platinum, tungsten, and even black ceramic. Gold and platinum are pretty standard, but it was neat to look into the less-standard options too. Ceramic and tungsten are great, economical options, but both can shatter, which scares me a little (and Mr. L didn't like the look of the black - he preferred more of a traditional metal look.

Titanium was by far the most economical. Although it can't be re-sized (neither can ceramic or tungsten), we found a great, creative etsian who has a policy of allowing exchanges for a different size as long as there is no custom engraving. Perfect! I perused mostly etsy sellers (WAY cheaper than the jewelry store we checked out, and more variety... not to mention the awesomeness of getting a custom/handmade item direct from an American crafter), and really feel in love with the highly polished stuff. TitaniumKnights was our guy! Here's what we ended up getting (mine will be a little thinner than Mr. L's):

I can't help but boast; we're getting BOTH for a total of $94!!! I think this is the budget move I'm most proud of right now. I would have been willing to pay gold or platinum prices if there was a ring that we liked better, but we are both really excited about this ring! The price is just a wonderful bonus!

Save the Dates!

2009-04-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, these went out a while ago. But, I did take a bunch of pictures, and I finally got them all uploaded. I ordered all of our invitation stuff from smallprinter. He was so easy to work with, and his prices are unbeatable (especially for letterpress!). In spite of all the time I spent working on the design with him, the final design is incredibly simple. I love every bit of it!

The invitations and save-the-dates all came the same day (I'm just waiting for printing of the directions and RSVP cards). They are beautiful!

While I was at the post office, picking them up, I went ahead and opened them up and had the nice postal employees weigh them for me, so I could go ahead and buy stamps. As it turns out, I won't need extra postage for any of it! YAY! So, I went ahead and got Frank Sinatra and Bette Davis stamps for the save the dates, and forever stamps for the invitations and RSVPs (they'll be after the postage rates increase, and I am that stingy). Don't the Frank stamps match nicely?!

My mom was awesome enough to turn my scattered pieces of paper with addresses into an easy-to-use mail merge document, already formatted to the perfect size envelopes. And yes, I printed out the addresses. Straight to the envelopes, with no regrets. Because of that, I was able to get them all addressed, stamped and stuffed in one night! That's my kind of project.

Cupcake presentation

2009-04-10T06:24:00.000-07:00

Generally, I've been pretty laid-back about wedding stuff lately. I feel like the pressure is off.

I've finalized or near-finalized:

catering,

locations (ceremony and reception),

flowers,

hotel,

invitations (and sent out the StDs),

flowers,

bought my dress, and

decided on rings! (more to come on many of these things soon)

I feel good. I feel like I've got the major stuff taken care of. What's left seems manageable, and doesn't seem too urgent. And the stuff that I know I was procrastinating on because I didn't want to deal with it, I've delegated to my mom. Perfect.

So now, I feel like I should be tackling the stuff that isn't urgent, but can be done ahead of time. Since I'll be baking cookies (more on this to comme, too) and cupcakes for the wedding, I would like to only have to worry about those two things (and the unexpected things that I'm sure will come up) for the last couple of weeks before the wedding. So I've been trying to figure out what I can go ahead and take care of.

And so began the cupcake tower project. I found a great tutorial online for making a tower out of foamcore. Sounded prefectly budget-friendly, and like something that my limited craft skills could handle. Right? Well, it actually is. However, after building two of the levels, I'm not sure that it's really the scale that I had in mind. I mean, it's GIANT. I guess that's OK. It just isn't what I was expecting. I read the directions and didn't think anything of 6" high sides on each level - but in person... that's really high! So, I guess I could just cut the sides shorter. I can figure that out, right?

And the way it's designed, so that the sides of each level are the supports, doesn't actually leave a lot of area for the cupcakes. But I'm sure I could modify that too, right? Maybe do an x-shaped support that leaves the whole bottom open for cupcakes, like a friend of mine did. Or just move the sides in, so that there is a partial overhang above each level. Or use regular wedding cake pillars for support at each corner. There are definitely options.

Maybe some pillars like these guys?

But then I started thinking about other options, and came across an old copy of Martha Stewart Weddings.

How cute would the cupcakes be in their own little boxes, just stacked into a tower shape? And even though it would mean that I'd have to individually box them, it would also mean that I wouldn't have to build a tower. Not a bad trade-off. But then the questions becomes whether to use clear boxes and show off the cupcakes, or cute boxes like Martha's favor boxes, that are their own display, and have the pretty cupcakes as a nice surprise when people open them? Or round boxes? And will boxes discourage people from digging in? Or make it too hard to tell what kind of cupcake is in each (I plan to have 3 different flavors)?

So many choices.

First Wedding Present!

2009-04-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

I got my save-the-dates and part of my invitation suite in the mail this week! But even more excitingly, I checked with the post office, and neither will require extra postage!!!!!! That is a present that I can get excited about! So, I went ahead and bought all the stamps (invitations and RSVPs will be forever stamps), and it all came out to only $100.80!

...I remember a time when I would have had trouble spending $100. The wedding perspective has fully kicked in now though, and it feels incredibly cheap.

The hotel details

2009-04-01T08:03:00.001-07:00

I reserved a block of rooms at the Hilton Garden Inn downtown. It's a brand new hotel in the building that used to be Miller and Rhodes - it's where Mr. L always went to see THE Santa as a kid.

The "Legendary Santa" who was at Miller and Rhodes for years.

It's also a straight shot down the street from the reception venue, and within walking distance of several great restaurants and bars. So, it should be easy for people to get back, whether they are coming from the reception of or the after party. Perfect.

The rooms are only $99/night. Go here to reserve a room. The discount rate is good as long as you make the reservation by August 5.

Save the date magnets?

2009-03-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

Originally, I had in mind that I would do postcard STDs with a business card-sized magnet attached. But then, while working with the stationer, it was easy (and I was happy) to do letterpress STDs that matched the invitations - simple, classy, and in an envelope. And I'm really excited about them. I had completely dropped the idea of including magnets (thinking that they wouldn't really match the new style).

...and then I found marble magnets! (see Mormon Chic, Quidnunc.org, and NotMartha, et al.)
So I did a test run. As it turns out, my graphic design skills are seriously lacking. But here's what I came up with. I'm still not sure if it's worth including with the save-the-dates or not. They are way easy, so that's not a problem, at least. I'm just not sure if they are pretty/cool/neat enough to make it worth including. I guess I have to decide sometime this week, because I should be sending them out by this time next week!

wedding bells at every price point.

2009-03-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

I fully intend to stay until the end of our reception. If I put this much time and money and thought into an event, I want to enjoy every moment of it! So I don't see any need for a send-off from the reception (ie. sparklers, rice, etc.).

And I plan to take photos at the church after the ceremony, so no big send-off there either. Just a receiving line and then sneaking off to get down to pictures.

But I do like the idea of guest participation in something. Enter, bells. I'd like to have bells for people to ring as we exit the church. I figure I'll let my immediate family know the plan so that they can start the ringing, just in case other people aren't 100% of when and where to use them. but what kind of bells to hand out?

This is what I had in mind before I started looking. A simple, classic silver bell. Beautiful. Unfortunately, at >$2 each, this looks like a less-viable option unless I can find someone reselling theirs for cheaper. So far, no luck. (Her Wedding Favors, $2.75 each; Open Tip, $2.80 each; Favor Favor, $1.85 each; Amazon, $3.14 each (incl. organza ribbon and printed hang tag))

Then I saw these. Beautiful, classy, and perhaps even easier to ring? And way cheaper. Thank you, Martha. But I'm just not sure that I can get over the fact that they remind me of Christmas. It would be an easy DIY project though - I could feel like I was actually DIYing something for the wedding. (Wedding Bee Classifieds, 150 bells with ribbon and bag for $50; This and That 4 You, 144 plain bells for $28.79; PaperMart, 25 velour bags for $3; PaperMart, 50 yards of 1 1/2inch double-faced satin ribbon for $7.95 (That's $54.74 to DIY 150!))

Then there are these guys. They are ity-bitty, and definitely look cheaper to me. And the cheapest of these come with a card with some sort of kissing poem (that I don't want). But, they are <$1 each, and I'm sure I could remove the cards. And they come in both silver and gold (I'd go with silver). (Oriental Trading Co., 50 for $4.99; Century Novelty, 24 for $8.98; Future Memories, 24 for $10.65 )

I just can't bring myself to commit to the cheap ones. I love the price. I do. Maybe I'm just being snotty. Or maybe, I should run my A.C. Moore (I think I've seen them there), and at least test run the tiny bells and the jingle bells and see if I even like the way they sound - that's what really matters, right?

For the record...

2009-03-05T13:51:00.000-08:00

exactly 6 months remaining. Eeep!

Signs!

2009-03-04T07:27:00.001-08:00

I found out that I may put signs on the U of R campus to direct people to the chapel. Thank Goodness! I've been on the campus a few times now, and I think it's incredibly confusing. And I'm pretty sure that I got my awful sense of direction from my family, so I feel the need to help them find it however I can.

I'm including directions in the invitations, but I really wanted to make sure that everyone could find it ok, even if they left them at home or had trouble following my detailed directions.

So, obviously that means that I get to shop for signs!

I've only just begun looking at pictures, but I think this is my favorite so far. Of course, the chances of me paying over $40 per sign are pretty slim, but I really think that this is something that I could make (I'm just not sure how much it would cut the price to DIY this). And if I made it myself, I could paint the background navy AND I'd have the option of putting our names on it too. Very tempting.

This is another good bet, and at $25 for six signs (complete with ribbons and balloons), the price really can't be beat. And although it's cardboard, I don't think it looks cheap. But it definitely looks like it will catch people's eyes, which is really the point, right? And as a bonus, I don't have to figure out what to do with a bunch of wooden arrows after the wedding. Oriental Trading to the rescue!

And there are these cute coordinating signs for the reception. I find it all very tempting.

For reals, this time

2009-02-11T13:14:00.001-08:00

We have a venue!!!! It's real and almost official!

September 5, 2009 at 6pm, we will wed in Richmond!
The ceremony will be at the University of Richmond Chapel, and the reception will be at The 2300 Club! tada!

Also, while working on that, I found an organist for the ceremony. Elliot Bromlee was recommended by the woman at the chapel, and I totally trust her. We're meeting at the end of next month to decide on music. Yay!

The manager at the 2300 Club has also started doing event flowers in the past few years, and it looks like he does a good job, for what I think is a reasonable price (flower prices are so hard to compare before you have a real quote!). I'm also meeting with him at the end of next month. He has 5 reviews on WeddingWire.com, and they are all glowing recommendations, so I take that as a good sign.

Also, since we aren't going to have tables for people to sit at, I don't have to worry about centerpieces, so I'm hoping that will free up some of the budget and make room for some decorations for the entrance. Since it's in a residential neighborhood, I'd love to make it stand out a little for our guests. I'm imaging some sort of lanterns hanging from shepherd's hooks lining the walkway, and maybe a little something along the fence too. And maybe a wreath for the front door? (That makes me wonder if I can do something to mark the path from the parking lot to the chapel too...)

Reception venue hunt, and learning to make decisions together

2009-02-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

First, I was completely set on the 2300 Club. I knew that Mr. L liked it because he raved about the wedding he'd attended there, the price was perfect, and it was terribly historic and charming. Sure, it didn't have a true dance floor, it was split into rooms, and we wouldn't be able to have everyone sit down, but it was charming enough to make up for that. And there was that great price. That totally made up for the lack of off-the-street parking.

But I was looking at heavy hors d'oeuvres there, and Mr. L really just wasn't OK with that. OK. We can handle that. Onward, to find another venue that worked for him in Rich.

I found the Colony Club. It too, was pretty perfect. It was within walking distance of three great hotels, was another historic row house, and was run by an amazing caterer. I sat with her and came up with a menu. We'd have food stations upstairs and people would mingle, and then we'd adjourn to the ballroom downstairs. Sure, the ballroom was kinda lame, but it had a real dance floor and everyone could fit in the same room for dancing and cake-cutting. The cost-estimate came back, and we realized that we'd have to cut back to make it work; a little less food and a lot less people, but I thought it was do-able. Mr. L was again worried about providing plenty of food, and didn't like the idea of having to move everyone downstairs. Fine. Keep looking.

This time, I wasn't limiting myself to Rich. Sure, we had reserved the chapel there, but there was not deposit, and we wouldn't really lose out if we changed our minds. So I looked all over. He thought that it had to be somewhere that we had ties to - OK, that takes a lot of places out of the running. So, I found two places that looked promising around Lex. The Stoneridge Inn, and the House Mountain Inn. I found out that a few of the people I graduated from law school with used House Mountain, and they all said it was great. And there was the great price. So, while we were in Lex for the (failed) e-shoot, we also stopped by both places to have a look.

House Mountain Inn was lovely, in a brand new, huge hunting lodge sort of way. It came highly recommended, and it had great views. There was even a pond by the ceremony site, and there are hiking trails all around. Not a bad way to spend a weekend. But... we just weren't feeling it. It was too new.

So, the next stop was the Stoneridge Inn. It was everything that was missing at House Mountain. It was a historic plantation home, filled with antiques. There was a spring house and a small family graveyard in the back. But, everything (not just the ceremony) would have to be held outside, and the road up to it was gravel. Small details, as far as I was concerned. It was historic, near Lex, and affordable. And we could have the ceremony there, overlooking the sunset over the Blue Ridge Mountains. Sigh. Enter Mr. L. He thought it was too far from civilization and wasn't really the Lex that he felt connected to. But he did like the ambiance. He also suddenly started to care about the possibility of rain.

And then he brought up the idea of having it at the 2300 Club again. I was more than a little upset. But I took a step back. We definitely had it narrowed down to two locations - 2300 Club or Stoneridge. Richmond or Lexington. I made it very clear that I wasn't going to look at anywhere new. I had exhausted every place that I knew how to find. (And the wedding planner that I would have trusted to take all of this out of my hands was completely booked for our Richmond date.)

And so, we're learning to make this decision together. We have very different decision-making styles (and I've known this for a while). I take in all the info I can get for a limited amount of time. I look at the info I have at that point, and then I make a decision based on what looks best at that point. I eliminate what I can easily (like places that are booked or way out of our price range), and then pick from what remains based on their known pros and cons. And then I'm done. Once I've made a decision, I feel good about it. I know that I looked at many options, and I know that it was the best one. I like to think of this as "the best way" to make a decision.

Mr. L, on the other hand, feels like he must have all of the information before he can make a decision. He worries/is convinced that there is one perfect answer to each question, and he is sure that he'll eventually find it. This is great in many ways. I know that when he gives me a gift, it is well thought out, and absolutely perfect. He also rarely makes impulse purchases, and the vacations he plans really are absolutely amazing. He finds the best hotels/restaurants/recipes and because of this, I have really been able to experience amazing things that I never would have known even existed. I'm really not complaining. Exactly.

The problem is that once I've made a decision, he starts questioning it, wondering if it is the absolute best. It drives me crazy! It makes me think that he doesn't trust my decision making skills, that I really did make a bad decision and he'll never be happy with it, and that I'm a giant failure because I can't even make these decisions! Ok, that may be a slight exaggeration, but really, it's not much of one. I'm an emotional creature.

And so, I am now trying a new technique. Now that we have it narrowed down to two places, I have let Mr. L know which way I'm leaning, and that I think he's leaning the same way, and that I'm giving us another day (today) to think about it. If we still feel good about it tonight, I'm going to sign the contract tomorrow. And I'm therefore going to have all of the info for our invitations and save-the-dates in to our stationer by the end of this week. And I have hope for this new method. If it works, I'll have a lot of updates this week!

e-pics that weren't

2009-02-09T09:23:00.000-08:00

Saturday was going to be a productive day in Lex. We had engagement pics scheduled with our craigslist, student, free photographer. After many emails and a phone call, we had it all set-up... or so I thought. We got there at 2. I realized that I'd accidentally left my cell phone at home. Oops. Not that I had her cell phone number anyway.

At 2:25, there was no sign of her, and no voicemail from her. Damn. So, we opted for lunch and going to check out a couple of venue options (more on that later).

When I got home, I had 3 voice mails from said photographer. The first one was at 2:50, saying that she was running late, but was on her way. Another at 3:10 saying she was there, and another even later, that was the first to leave her actual cell phone number. Seriously? I'm assuming that she thought we were meeting at 3. Lame.

and now, someone else's e-pic, as gratuitous eye candy from the remarkable Scott Hayne.

Registering

2009-02-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

We spent Sunday morning starting our registry. I opted for Bed, Bath, and Beyond because I knew that they had a large selection of actual china and silver, as well as nicer pots. It also helped that they have a reputation for having a good return policy, they have stores all over, they aren't going bankrupt (that I know of) any time soon, we can edit the registry online, and guests can purchase online. Generally, prefect.

We spent about an hour. We picked out a china pattern, Mr. L vetoed any more catalog pattern shopping (ie. for silver), and we made it through most of the big kitchen stuff. And then we realized that we have no idea about decorating stuff, because we have no idea where we'll be. Awesome.

Generally, it was pretty easy. I think we both have similar taste, and it was easy to agree on most things. There were a couple of things that only one of us wanted, but none of them were things that would bother the other person (like the pot I wanted. It won't hurt him to have an extra pot in the cabinet).

And Mr. L bought an onion keeper. Apparently he felt that he needed one.

Now, I realize that I really wish I could register with etsy and anthropology. If only.

Reception!!!

2009-02-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

Over the course of my search for the perfect venue, I have actually looked into over 50 different locations. Is that normal? I wanted a place that was

a: affordable (this proved one of the most challenging criteria, not surprisingly)

b: historic (I wanted it to at least feel historic)

c: unique to Richmond (see b)

d: fairly close to the chapel and to hotels, and that had it's own off-street parking.

e: I wanted it to have a dance floor. I am really excited about our first dance, so a place where it couldn't happen, or where people couldn't see it just wouldn't do!

f: Also it had to be able to accommodate 150 people, seated. (We did end up cutting the guest list considerably, when I realized that feeding 150 people directly conflicted with (a) on this list.)

g: And it had to be available on our date.

Here are the places that didn't make the cut:

2300 Club

Agecroft Hall

Ash Lawn Highland

Bear and Bull

Bellwood Club

Berkeley Plantation

Berry Hill Estate (although, seriously, this place is beautiful!!!)

BlackFinnBoathouse/Gardens at Sunday Park

Carillon at Byrd Park

Carnegie Institution (DC)

Celebrations at the Reservoir

Commonwealth Club

Country Club of Va

Dellwood Plantation

Dominion Club

Gallery 5

Hermitage Country Club

Historic Long Branch

Lee Hall

Legend Brewery

Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden

Linden Row Inn

Maggianos

Mainstreet Station

Maymont Park

Meadowbrook Country Club

Montpelier Center

Morven Park

Oatlands Plantation

Old Original Bookbinders

Raspberry Plains

Renaissance

Richbrau

Richmond Country Club

Science Museum of Virginia

Shirley Plantation

Stonehenge Country Club

The Armour House and Gardens at Meadowview Park

The Manor House

The Place at Innsbrook

The Women's Club

Tobacco Company

Tuckahoe Woman's Club

VCU Scott House

Virginia House

Virginia Museum of Fine Arts

Westover Plantation

White Hall Manor

White House of the Confederacy

Winterham Plantation

Woodlawn

Woodrow Wilson House

Yes, I considered adding pictures, but... really?!

I'm really excited about the venue that we finally decided on! Not only did it meet all of the above criteria, but it also is owed/run by a caterer who is very well-known locally for doing an amazing job. And even more than that, I really liked her! I felt like she understood what I was going for, and really had the expertise to make it happen (and to make it better than I would have been able to come up with on my own). I am soooooo excited about our menu!

However, like any good thing, there is one little detail that I would change if I could. The set-up is such that the guests will eat upstairs (on the main level), which is absolutely beautiful. It's a restored row house, so there are separate rooms, but they are all pretty open to each other, and I think that there is still a good flow between the rooms and the patio. So that's great! BUT, after people eat, everyone will move downstairs to the ballroom, where the dance floor is and where the band will be. It's more open (and there is another bar downstairs), and this is where the 'stuff' will happen - first dance, cake cutting, assorted tosses, etc. Which is fine. But it is very plain. It's everything I was trying to avoid. The walls are bare. The ceiling is a drop ceiling. The dance floor is just kinda there, and there are (currently) some columns draped in fabric and Christmas lights that I totally hate. HATE.

So what do I do with this space to make it tolerable?

Cupcakes

2009-01-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

Mr. L is a (surprising) big fan of wedding cupcakes. He has suggested before that I make our cake, and I wasn't so sure about that. But now that he wants cupcakes, there is a real chance that this could be my DIY project. And think about how cute they would be with fantastic cupcake wrappers like these:

Or lacy ones!

Don't they just make you swoon? I just wish they weren't over $1 each. :(

I found a dress!!!

2009-01-24T17:57:00.001-08:00

After the three shops that I've already chronicled, I hit up a local bridal shop, Amhrein's. I thought the lady there was very helpful, and I must have tried on another 20 dresses. I narrowed it down to two dresses there that I liked, and I could fit in both of them, and could get a really good deal on either of them. I called up RoaMaid*, and had her run out to look at them. She was wonderful, and helpful, and brought a little perspective. I liked both of them, but neither was absolutely perfect.

After the first four stores, I knew the things I wanted in a dress. So, today, I went to Lynchburg. I'd heard about a charity bridal store there run by the YWCA, Church Street Bridal, that has dresses donated by stores all over the area, all for $200-350. Pretty amazing. We even saw a Monique Lhullier Scarlet! Unfortunately, most of the styles that they had today were far from what I was looking for. So no dice.

Scarlet

But we did see another boutique in Lynchburg. RoaMaid was amazing and called over as we waited for a dressing room at Church Street Bridal. They said that no appointment was needed and that they weren't too busy. So, after a great lunch at Hot and Cold, a great local Mediterranean place, we headed over to Celebration Bridal.

And that's where we found the dress! We couldn't get the attention of any of the salespeople at first (because they had definitely gotten busy since we'd called!), so the two of us wandered the racks, and pulled out three dresses that seemed to fit my criteria. We finally found someone to help us, and I started trying them on! The first one was it. I finally made myself change, and try the other two, but I knew I didn't even need to show RoaMaid. I wanted to put the first dress back on. After hanging around in it for a while, I ordered it!!!!I love it. It's perfect.

Buttons!!!

*RoaMaid - my one and only bridesmaid who is here in Roanoke with me.

I take back all the mean things I said about Bella Rosa

2009-01-15T10:35:00.000-08:00

The girl there sent me an email following up today, and when I actually asked for the styles that I liked, she sent them right away!

So here they are, in all their modeled glory (and I'd want them in white, not ivories):

Mikaella style 1367

Pronovias Harlem

Can't you just imagine either of them with a viel with stand-out trim like this one?!

Shopping!

2009-01-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

I've been doing lots of planning, I swear. First, the dress shopping so far:

Saturday, I went up to Hitched, in DC, then to Bella Rosa in Richmond, and finally, I stopped in David's Bridal.

Hitched was amazing. The attendant was helpful and professional and totally understood what I wanted, even when I was struggling to find out. There was no sales pressure, and she let me have my fun day - not worrying about finding the perfect dress, or even staying in the realm of the affordable. It was fun, and relaxing, and totally enjoyable.

I was able to try on several different types of dresses and figure out what looked good on me (as opposed to a model in a bridal magazine). I had an idea that what attracted me in the magazines would not work on my body, and I was right. The dresses that I liked on me looked nothing like any of my inspiration pictures.

I started with pictures of dresses like these: all lace, slinky, v-neck, and fitted low. Not good things for my body.

I realized that I really liked dresses with rouching through the middle, with a natural waist, a-line, and often, sweetheart neckline. And I loved a little brooch or flower accent. I loved the drama! I also was surprised that I didn't mind a slightly busy skirt. Oh, and it definitely had to flare out higher up - none of this fitted around my hips stuff! I'm a little too curvy for that!

I found a couple of dresses there that I liked in that basic style. She wrote the styles down for me (and then I left the piece of paper at my friend's house - oops!), so that I could look at them online, since they didn't allow photos.

And then if was off to Richmond! Bella Rosa is also a boutique, but a little less shee-shee. The attendant was more sale-focused, and obviously younger and less professional (but still very nice). Still no pictures allowed, but she didn't let me have the info on the dresses either. She just wrote it down. I totally understand wanting to keep the sales in the store, but I really can't handle making a decision just in the hour that I have an appointment. And do they really want me coming back every time I want to remember what it looks like?! maybe.

I tried on several dresses of the same type that I liked at hitched, but a little closer to my price range. The one I liked best was under $1K, which I considered a victory. Gee, I wish I had a picture of it so I could share, or so that I could refresh my memory.

Finally, I hit up David's Bridal. I tried to fit it in that Saturday, but it was a madhouse. Instead, I dropped by last night after work, and it was much calmer. The salesperson was basically absent, and I was alone, so I had a long conversation with someone else's bridesmaid and she was kind enough to take pictures of me, and suggest things about the fit. There was only one dress I wanted to try on there (most of their dresses that fit my criteria are covered in applique lace/beading that I don't like). It was an Oleg Cassini. And I really liked it. And as the price was the lowest of anything I have looked at. That part was nice. And, oddly, although no one was with me, this was the first one that felt really good. I wasn't just looking at it in terms of which parts I liked - I liked the whole thing. I wish that it didn't have a giant bow in back, and that it did have buttons down the back, but I really liked the basics of the dress.

The process did allow me to pinpoint two ways to describe what I really am looking for: non-pornographic, and dramatic.

And so, after all of that, I come back to the first dress that I ever fell in love with - Joan Shum's Lady Catherine. Swoon. It has the band across the waist (not rouched, but still defining), a natural waist with a fairly high flare, gorgeous, dramatic details (hand-painted roses and a brooch), and lace. It definitely fits the bill for dramatic. The neckline and the lack of a train are the only drawback - it may qualify as pornographic on me (since I'm above an a cup). Oh yeah, and that $5K price tag.

And so, I'm faced with the dilemma. I have had two places recommended - one that is a seamstress who creates dresses from photos of designer dresses (an obviously, can adjust things) for significantly less, and the other who sources knock-offs for you. I love the idea of actually being able to afford a dress like this, but I feel a little skeezy about it. I do know artists, and I'm very protective of them, and think that they absolutely deserve every cent that they charge. So is the knock-off route really the way I want to go? Doesn't Joan Shum deserve to be compensated for her amazing creativity and time designing the dress? (Not that I can afford to do so, no matter how I shift the numbers around.)

How to: dress shopping

2009-01-09T06:19:00.000-08:00

As a new member of the Engaged Women's Club, my friends still (mostly) enjoy talking about my wedding planning. They still answer my phone calls, and haven't yet asked if we could please talk about them for a change. So, I'm getting lots of good advice about dress shopping. Here's a quick rundown:

Avoid weekends when possible. This makes sense. Of course the salons are busier on weekends, and the attendants just don't have as much time to devote attention to you.
Go in with some ideas, but be open. Now, I am in no way certain about the style I want. I love lace, but I'm pretty sure that I look better in something much more structured. And I think I like a long train, but all of my inspiration pictures are train-less or have only a short train. So, I'm taking in all the pictures I've collected - and collecting them helped me see that they do have a lot in common, and to place really see what those commonalities were. It'll give the attendant a chance to see what's in my head (because I'm not so good with the describing), and hopefully, it'll get me to the pretties more quickly! However, many of these people (I dare not say all) know something about what looks good on people. They have seen the dresses on women with all shapes, not just the magazine models that I've been looking at, and they may have some very valid suggestions. What does it hurt to try on a few extra big, expensive dresses with an open mind?
Pay attention to your undies. Wear a white or nude strapless (and backless, if you have one) bra, and make sure that you're wearing panties that provide some coverage but don't scream "this is my last pair before I really have to do laundry". The bra, so that you can better visualize what the dress will actually look like, and the panties because at least one salesperson that you've never met is going to see you in your skivvies. On a crowded weekend or sample sale, it's possible that you won't even get your own dressing room, and other customers will see you. Never mind the embarrassment of having your mom with you, helping with a zipper, while you sport those panties with "Dive in" across the butt.
Assume that you will run late. Seriously, these are back-to-back appointments. Don't plan on getting out at the exact time that your hour ends. Think about it, this is an industry that runs on bridezillas. Do you want to be the one who has to take off the dress that you think might be the one right now because there is another bride in 5 minutes?
Shop around. There was a recent post on WeddingBee that really drove this one home for me. I know that I'm bigger than all the samples. I learned that much when I went shopping with my much thinner, much taller friend, and everything fit her perfectly. That will not be me. I accept that. But I am resolved to not let the horror of squeezing into little dresses and not zipping them up distract from the fact that this is probably the most I will ever spend on an outfit, and I think I should feel pretty. I don't want to pick something that I'll regret. Especially since most bridal dresses are 100% not-returnable! That doesn't leave a lot of room for buyer's remorse.

Any other tips from those of you that have been through this before (as a bride or with a bride)?

Next stop: Richmond

2009-01-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

I'm finally getting sworn in at the Virginia Supreme Court on Monday, and I'm incredibly excited! Although I missed the mass swearing in ceremony in October, it actually works out very well for me. Instead of being sworn in en masse, and sponsored by my law school's latest Dean, I'll be sworn in in a much smaller group, with Mr. L as my sponsor! Maybe it's silly, but I am really excited to have my fiance go before the supreme court and make the motion that I be admitted to practice before the courts of the Commonwealth.

Since my mom, Mr. L, and I will be there anyway, I plan to make the most of the time. I'm planning to head down on Saturday, and spend a weekend doing wedding scouting. Here are the highlights of the plan:

Head up to DC Friday, and hit up the sample sale at Hitched in Georgetown. It's not really that far out of the way, and it's an excuse to look at pretty dresses. in the "big city". that are on sale. with a great law school friend!

Then, Saturday morning, it's off to Richmond. Saturday is reserved for trying on dresses with RichFriend*. The plan is to do David's Bridal first, and then I have an appointment at Bella Rosa. Bella Rosa doesn't inspire the best reviews by friends of friends and knotties, but they too are having a sample sale, and, frankly, there aren't that many choices unless I want to spend a lot more time in DC. And although I'm a little wary of facing David's on a Saturday, I'm so eager to go dress trying-on that I think it may be worth at least trying. I feel like it'll all be easier to take since I don't actually plan on finding anything - just getting ideas. I'll let you know if I end up eating my words.

Sunday, my mom arrives in Richmond, and it's off to the bridal show! I wondered at first if these shows were really all that helpful, or if they are really more of an excuse to be around a bunch of other women who are just as wedding crazed as I am, but after looking at the list of vendors, I think there is a good chance to actual productivity.

It looks like there will be a ton of caterers and photographers there, and those are two of my big question marks - and two vendors that I really want to be able to meet with in person. So hopefully, with my uber-focused mom's guidance, we'll be able to maximize time by speaking with the vendors we need to speak with anyway and getting prices and ideas all in one place. At least, that's the goal. This may be another case of me eating my words.

After the bridal show, the plan is dinner, and then a few important stops that are less goal-driven. We're heading to the Jefferson so that I can show my mom where Mr. L proposed; and to the chapel, so that mom and I can both see it in person, get ideas of how much and what kind of decoration it might need, and generally reassure ourselves that it is going to be a great location.

Monday is swearing in in the morning, and then lunch with the moms! I love both our moms, and I think they'll get along nicely. Since our families live in different cities, I wanted to grab this chance to introduce them. I'm also looking forward to getting a chance to talk to his mom about some of the planning, since she's local. She knows everyone and everything around Richmond, so I suspect that she has some great ideas!

And sometime in there, I'm hoping to squeeze in scouting trips to four reception venues. One is almost next door to the Jefferson, so that'll be the easiest to squeeze in - I have no idea when we'll fit in the others. Details on them to come!

*RichFriend because she actually lives in Rich-mond.

Cold feet... already?

2009-01-05T09:10:00.000-08:00

I'm already having second thoughts! Not about the wedding, but about our ceremony location. With all of my presearch under my belt, I thought I was sure of what I wanted. I knew that this morning, I would call the chapel at his law school, and if I could get a date there in September, I would. So I called, and they had a couple of choices, and I booked it! I made my first wedding decision (aside from saying yes, of course).

And I am already second guessing myself. That means that there really won't be a plantation wedding. Booking it for 6pm means I really am having an evening wedding, with all that it entails. And the part of me that is looking at the budget is already freaking out!

I hope I don't go through this with every wedding decision. Am I supposed to be so worried?

The full proposal story

2009-01-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

Obviously (since, I did start this blog), I had some idea that the proposal was coming sometime. When, on Christmas morning, Mr. L gave me a very sweet card, I knew that it was coming soon. He wrote the most beautiful message inside:

I hope this is one of many more Christmas's we'll spend together with your family. I love you so very much, and I still have one more gift to give you! Love, Mr. L

For New Year's Eve, he booked us a room at The Jefferson, and when we got there, there was a bottle of champagne and a dozen roses waiting. We got there pretty early, so we laid around he room for a while before changing for dinner. Once we got changed, Mr. L said he wanted to walk around the hotel and look at everything. He took me down to the grand staircase, and we walked down it to the giant Christmas tree in the rotunda. It was beautiful.

See the little alcove just to the right of the tree, one floor up? That's where it happened!!!

I started to think that this must be it because his hands were shaking, and we were both being kinda quiet, and looking around at the beautiful architecture. We finally started walking back up the grand staircase, and he stopped us on a landing and asked if I wanted to sit down. We sat, and he took my hand. By this point, my heart was pounding! He said nice things, but I have no idea what he said! My heart was racing, and I could barely think. He said something about wanting to "do it right", and got down on one knee, pulled out the ring, and put it on my finger, while asking if I'd marry him!

Us, getting getting ready to go out - right before he proposed.

My poor brain was mush, and the only thing that came to mind was "Thank you". I was pretty sure that that wasn't the right answer, so I just kissed him. He had to ask if that was a "yes", and he finally got his answer. I don't even know how many times I repeated the word, once I remembered how to say it.

After we sat and said nice things to each other, and both stared at the shiny ring for a while, I remembered that I promised my girlfriends that I'd text them a picture of the ring when he proposed, so I sent off a picture message. We still had a little time before we left for dinner, and there was a band playing in the lobby, so we danced a little while we waited. It was wonderful.

Well, the actual camera phone picture I sent was much poorer quality, but this is pretty similar.

Then it was off to Davis & Main for dinner. It is a very Richmond restaurant, and the food was excellent. I was so excited that I was barely able to eat or drink. We hung out most of the night at the restaurant, and then headed out to the local festivities with a little before midnight.

The next morning, we had brunch at Lamaire, the 5 star hotel restaurant. It was actually the last meal that was ever served there - they are now closed for 3 months to renovate and reopen as a seafood restaurant. Again, it was great food, but I could barely eat.

I may have posed my ring on everything at our table and taken lots of pictures while Mr. L was at the buffet. This is the flower on our table at brunch.

It was amazing.

The dress

2009-01-04T10:37:00.001-08:00

My mom got married a few years ago, and I think she was beautiful.

We're about the same height, and have the same basic build, and if I meet my goals, I'll be close to her size by the time of my wedding. And she has offered her dress if I want it!

She's bringing it up when she comes to visit this weekend (to see me get sworn in - yay!). It'll give me a chance to try it on and to see just how much weight I'd have to lose for it to fit. Obviously, no matter what, there would be some alterations needed, but it would be soooo much cheaper than buying a new dress.

But I like dressing up. And I love trying on pretty things. Is it bad that I want to go dress shopping? And then, what if I find something I like? I don't think my mom has her heart set on me wearing her dress, but I do think it would be awkward to back out of using it if it turns out to work out.

I'm Afianced!

2009-01-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

It happened!

On New Years Eve, Mr. L proposed at the Jefferson, on the grand staircase! He even had a dozen roses and a bottle of champagne waiting in our room.

I'm so excited!

Newsflash

2008-12-30T07:22:00.000-08:00

Only, for those of you who know me, not much of one.

I read too many blogs. Way too many. And they are (mostly) nicely and neatly organized in bloglines*. They have neat little categories, so that like is with like. I enjoy having everything sorted.

But here's the news: Most of the blogs I follow fall into the following categories: weddings, baking, friend-stalking, crafts, style, and fitness (and there are a couple of really funny ones too). I get a lot of inspiration from the blogs I read, and so, they tend to trickle into my life (hopefully, in good ways). The fitness blogs have actually been helpful in keeping me motivated to lose a little weight.

My goal was to lose about 45lbs. Which is pretty scary to me. I was not a particularly big kid, and the weight has just kind of slowly seeped on. I've noticed this trend for a while, but I've always just kind of told myself not to gain anymore. Well, now it's time not just to stop growing, but to take some of it off. I know it'll just get harder to lose it as I get older, and when I start having kids, and I know that I'm not happy with my current weight. So, I'm finally doing something about it. I'm running, and I'm tracking my food on Sparkpeople (and actually keeping to my goals).

I'm not perfect, which is part of the reason that I hesitated to broadcast that I was even trying. I don't always get in all my runs for the week (I'm working on a couch-2-5K training program), and I don't even bother tracking food when I'm out of town or on the weekends. And I have only actually done the weight training I want to do for one full week (and that was before Thanksgiving). But it's working. I can run about 20 minutes now (compared to the 30 seconds I could run when I started!), and I've lost 10lbs. In four months (well, I started running in September, but didn't start watching food until later). Not exactly record-breaking weight-loss. But I'm really proud of myself. And I feel like it's actually something I can keep up with.

*If you read more than 5 blogs, you really should use some sort of feedreader - I use bloglines, just because that's what I set up first, and I'm generally happy with it. GoogleReader is another popular one.

Christmas with the fams

2008-12-29T13:19:00.000-08:00

Mr. L (and the Hershey-pup) did the rounds with me, and then I went with him to see his family. It was actually pretty wonderful. It wasn't nearly as stressful as I feared; everything just seemed to fall into place. His family had a later Christmas dinner, and mine started on Christmas Eve. Sure, it would have been nice to have a little more time with some people, but I got to spend some quality time with everyone, and I never felt truly rushed. We always had time to talk with people and sit and eat meals - we even fit in a Christmas eve walk with my parents and a date night on Saturday. It was perfect.

And it was nice to actually be with him for five straight days. Since I moved to Richmond, it seems like we get less time together (he's just under two hours away now). It's harder to get together in the middle of the week, and there are occasional weekends when we are running in different directions. Five straight days with him were just what I needed. (Now, if only I could get that with everyone that I miss!)

The Jefferson Lobby. Apparently, there was once a pool in the center, with crocodiles! I can see why they do a lot of weddings - it's beautiful!

Now, it's back to work for a couple of days. NYE will be with him at a very cool hotel in Richmond - The Jefferson. I can't wait! It sounds like he has quite the night planned! I've been promised a bottle of champagne in the hotel room, brunch at the famous La Mer restaurant in the hotel, ball-dropping in Carytown, and a wonderful dinner out.

Very cool new site launched

2008-12-29T08:28:00.000-08:00

The peeps at Totally Tabletops are launching a great new website! I think it's a brilliant idea, and I can't wait to see how it grows. It's called 12 too many, and it's basically like craigslist for party stuff! This sounds much easier than checking the listings on every wedding website, ebay, and craigslist to find those perfect vases or table runners. And you can search locally, so no worries about crazy shipping charges that make second-hand stuff more expensive than new. I'm excited!

The family rounds

2008-12-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember, holidays have meant going to several houses. When I was younger, we did Christmas eve and morning at home, with my mom, then Christmas brunch at my uncle's, and Christmas dinner at my grandma's. Once I could drive (and my dad had moved to the same state as my mom), my dad was added to the mix. As I became close to my BFF, her house was added on as a stop. So that for the last few years, I've traveled to my mom's, my dad's, my uncle's, BFF's, and usually, my grandma's every Christmas. Usually over about 3 days - Christmas eve, day, and the day after.

But this year is my first year as a real working stiff. I (thankfully) work for the government this year, so I get 3 days off for Christmas and 3 more off for the new year (because of the wompy Thursday holiday timing). But I'm at work today, and won't be able to drive down to stop no. 1, my mom's, until tomorrow morning. But, I'm used to juggling it all.

But this year, Mr. L is coming with me for the Christmas whirl-wind tour. I'm not sure he really realizes what he's getting himself into. I'm used to it, and I still need a couple of days to recover once it's all done. And, this means that Saturday morning, we'll be headed to see his family for the weekend. (Hopefully, it looks like his family might do Christmas that night, which would work out perfectly for us, but that's still up in the air.)

By New Year's Eve, I'm pretty sure we'll be ready to relax with a bottle of champagne on the couch and watch the countdown on tv.

The Stepford fam last Christmas. There is no mistaking us for anything but family.

After all the logistical details, here's my problem. Last night, Mr. L called me up and told me he was going to Richmond (where his family is) today to shop and see his family, and he won't be able to meet me in Roanoke (where I am) tonight, so that we can be ready to go first thing in the morning to Charlotte (where most of my family is). I had originally put off driving down tonight in order to make it easier on him, so that he didn't have to rush right down the moment her gets off work. He assured me that he'd get up however early he had to for us to leave on time, but I feel a little cheated. I already get very little time with my family (not his fault, but true), and I'm a little jealous that he can take the day off to go see his family. It's not logical, I know. And I'm trying to shake it (and, I admit, my ire is fading), but I can't quite get rid of the feeling that I'm somehow being shafted. I know I'm being childish and bratty, but I'm not sure how to un-train that kind of thinking.

wedding dream

2008-12-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

Aren't you supposed to wait until you're engaged and have been actually planning to have wedding nightmares?

Last night I dreamt that I was getting married - right then. I was in my dress and about to walk down the aisle, but I was surprised by it. In the dream, Mr. L had said something offhand, like"we should get married" at some point, and I had blocked it out/not remembered, but here I was, and we were getting married. I was just about to walk down the aisle, but I had no idea what awaited me. I didn't know who was there, or where we were, or if we were even having a reception. It was strange.

I wonder where it came from? Is it from too much almost-planning, or feeling like too much is unknown and out of my hands? Or something else altogether?

Perhaps the strangest part about it is that I've been very relaxed lately, and non-obsessive. I've honestly just been enjoying his company and enjoying where my life is right now.

Dad

2008-12-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

I love my father. He wasn't really around for most of my life, but now he is, and I believe in the power of blood (at least for me; I totally respect people who have cut off ties with their blood relatives for any number of reasons). So, of course, I want to have both of my parents be part of my wedding in meaningful ways.

But... I never imagined being walked down the aisle. Maybe I am an attention hog (or maybe this is the result of forming ideas with him not around, early on in life), but I have always imagined walking down the aisle by myself. And I like that idea.

I'm not opposed to having being given away, and I guess I just imagined that my dad (or maybe both of my parents?) would stand once I got the front, and then answer "Who gives this woman...". Or maybe not. I really don't have strong feelings one way or the other on that part.

However... I definitely always wanted a father/daughter dance. Even more so after I taught ballroom. Yeah, I'm actually a decent dancer (although not anything near what pros of the DWTS level can do). And I like to dance. And it feels very intimate to me. And I like the idea of having an intimate moment with at least one of my parents in the middle of an event that isn't very intimate (in all honesty).

But that isn't really an option. My dad's in a wheelchair, and has been for years. He's at the point now where even sitting up in the wheelchair is really hard on him, as is travelling. He came to my law school graduation (which meant so much to me), but it was really hard on him. So, I'm trying to confine location ideas to cities that he can get to in a day's drive (not ideal, but I am enough of a diva to say that there is no way I'm getting married in Fayettenam - yuck!). And, of course, I'm looking for something wheelchair accessible.

So what do I do? I want to include him (and my mom, who has always been there for me), but I don't know how. I'm not a huge fan of unity candles. And I sort of think that it should be something optional, so that if he weren't feel well enough, it wouldn't be detrimental (ie. I probably won't ask him to officiate). Maybe have him and some other close family members (mom and grandma) do readings? Or is there some meaningful way to involve him before the wedding, so that there isn't extra stress for him on a day when he'll probably already be exerting a ton of effort?

And then there is the other question - would it be inconsiderate to do a great-grandpa dance instead of a daddy/daughter? I'm so lucky that I still have a great-grandfather, and I would love to honor him somehow (and this would give me a moment with him and allow Mr. L a mother dance without it being awkward, AND give me another excuse to dance). But the last thing I want to do is hurt my dad's feelings.

When I sent out graduation announcements, I just used my mom and stepfather's return address labels (because their place was my permanent address), and I think it really hurt my dad that it looked like they were coming from the step-father instead of him. And I don't want to thoughtlessly do something like that again. Help!

Location, location, location

2008-12-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

I admit to having spent a good amount of time looking at knot reviews and vendor recommendations, and other websites, trying to find the perfect reception location. We both love history and architecture and, well, old places, so I have searched high and low for historic locations in and around Richmond.

But then I saw photos of a wedding at the Carnegie Institute in DC. And I realized that I could really have a wedding anywhere. I am not really confined to Richmond. And now I'm paralyzed. There are too many things to look at, too many places that could be perfect. Sure, most of his family is in Richmond, but mine is all over NC. And I'm in Roanoke, and he's in Harrisonburg, and DC is still pretty close, and easy to get to for everyone (and full of beautiful buildings... although you cannot have a wedding in the Smithsonian. Which sucks). What to do!? I guess I actually have to wait until I can talk to Mr. L about it.

An un-stylish day

2008-12-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

I'm just having one of those days. My hair is limp and gross and is getting too long. The new dress that I'm wearing in a desperate attempt to save me from total frump is ok, but the requisite jacket (for work) over it makes the outfit practically unbearable in it's outdated-ness. I just feel like I look like I don't pay attention to my appearance.

I tried pulling my hair back, but I don't think it's enough. Basically, I can't wait to get home and change. I'd feel better about my appearance if I were at home in sweats with my hair in a pony than I do right now. Yuck. I hate looking unprofessional.

Oh! Monique!

2008-12-05T12:11:00.000-08:00

I love this veil! Weddings Fresh posted this picture from the ML fall collection. I'm completely smitten with with veil - long over the face with a substantial trim. I would never have imagined it couldlook this perfect.

Another boring reflective post

2008-12-03T11:05:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to make a few points clear:

A) I am pre-planning because I enjoy planning parties, and I find looking through wedding blogs/magazines/websites/etc. inspiring. I think it's amazing how creative people are. And I do intend to use ideas that I've seen in the wedding context for other events (like an upcoming baby shower). It's mostly fantasy planning, and I really don't see myself as obsessed. I would never get married just to have the excuse to be the center of attention and to plan an incredibly expensive party.

B) I'm looking forward to engagement/marriage because I love the man I'm with. I want to have a life with him. This has been a sticking point for me - I am definitely one of those girls who falls hard and early, and I know that I can be blind to a guy's faults early in a relationship. I have had a series of long relationships, and I've been engaged once before and had another guy ask my father for his blessing (although I broke up with him before he ever asked me). I'm terrified of being one of those girls who has to be in a relationship (although, yes, I have had periods alone).

But I'm also a firm believer in marriage. I believe it is a commitment for life, and I can say with more certainty than you'd expect that I will not divorce a man unless there is infidelity or physical abuse. Some might consider it unwise, but this all-or-nothing mentality has kept me from actually marrying anyone yet. That's a big commitment!

I know that I've been a little marriage-crazy in the past, but people change. Knowing my past mistakes and the reasons behind them does allow me to make better decisions. Do I still have to fight to be objective about people I'm close to? Sure. But I think I'm ready. I think this is the guy, and I think that he deserves the kind of commitment that I want to make to him - and I think that he wants to make that kind of commitment to me. And I think he'll make an amazing father (and that matters to me).

C+D wedding!

2008-12-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine married her high school sweetheart this summer! Her wedding was one of the most perfect that I've ever attended. It was in her parents' backyard, overlooking the Blue Ridge mountains. It was so perfect, and so perfectly her (and she planned it all while studying for the bar!). The view was spectacular, and the sun set just after the ceremony, so the reception was lit by hundreds of overhead lights and paper lanterns. The food and drink were catered by a local barbecue restaurant over in the left tent (they had the fryer set up right there and were serving up fried green tomatoes!), the dance floor was between the tents, and the right tent held tables and chairs (as did part of the right tent).

One of the tables, ready to go, with a beautiful arrangement of hydrangeas.

Don't I have beautiful friends?! Hopefully she won't kill me for revealing this, but she was a three dress bride. She didn't decide until the day of which she would wear. I think this was a perfect choice - she looks like a Grecian goddess.

I couldn't leave out the aforementioned sweetheart! I love this picture, because it totally captures him!

The place cards were pinned to a toile-covered board. I thought this was a lovely touch.

This little guy totally stole the show! Here he is playing with one of the gamillion paper lanterns she had strung about. They were absolutely beautiful.

They let me make the cupcakes (I was so honored)! They had two layers of real cake, and 3 kinds of cupcakes underneath - chocolate nutella, carrot, and lemon with raspberry filling. Those are little fondant bluebirds on top of each, to tie into the natural blue decor of the real cake. (Sorry, I didn't get any pictures of the finished cake table!)

I hope she doesn't mind that I want to steal every detail of her wedding! I loved it!!!

*all photos courtesy of KempMillsFant, except the last one (obviously), which is from my personal collection.

B parties

2008-11-26T11:07:00.000-08:00

Mr. L is going to be in yet another wedding next month (Seriously, I've lost count of how many he has been in - to my 2, both my mom's. And yes, I'm totally jealous of him, especially since he doesn't enjoy it the way I would!), and the guys had the bachelor party this Saturday. They took off up to DC for the night. The plan was dinner at Ruth's Chris and then a cigar bar. In reality, the cigar bar was also followed by a pub, before returning to the hotel and crashing. On the way back, they had lunch. That's it! All in all, totally un-scandalous.

Now, the last bachelor party he went to (earlier this year) was a long weekend in Vegas, and involved not only strip joints, but also regular clubs, and just happening into the club where Flo Rida was performing. And that's just the stuff that they would tell me about!

The one and only bachelorette party that I've been part of was pretty tame (and really fun). We went to Charleston, SC and stayed with a friend's family. We took a guided carriage ride, and had one of our other engaged friends try on dresses for our entertainment at a local bridal boutique, and walked all over Charleston, and spent one night out at the bars (but didn't do anything more scandalous than shots... looking back through the pictures, more shots than I remember). We even decorated foam tiaras! (Oh... and we had so much good food!)Basically, we were tame.

Private carriage ride - totally worth it (even in the cold!)

It is possible that her parents will never invite me back once they realize the way I tortured Cindy Lou Who in an attempt to get a picture of her in my tiara.

OK, we did give her cards with descriptions of types of people she had to find, and we made her wear a tiara, and she danced with the band for a bit, and there may have been a drunken rendition of the UVA fight song... but really, that was the only scandalousness!

Yes, they invited all the bachelorettes in the club to get up with the band - including the woman who had just gotten married and was still in her dress.

All of this makes me wonder what our parties will be like. Chris complained that this cigar bar trip was a little on the dull side (but admitted that the Ruth's Chris steak was the best he'd had in a very long time). I think he thinks that adult entertainment is essential to a bachelor party. And I loved my Charleston trip, but I have always imagined a slightly more scandalous party, with everyone really letting lose and maybe even dancing on a bar or two. Does that make us wild?

I recently spent the weekend in DC with some undergrad friends, and had a great time. The girl I was with is definitely on the wilder end of my friend spectrum (which really isn't that wild), and I told her that she was in charge of the bachelorette party. And I stand by that! I think she's a lot more likely to push and cheer lead to make me (us) have fun! And she's another future lawyer, so you know you can trust her to be very thorough and organized about the whole thing!

Monogram/Theme

2008-11-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

I go back and forth. Some days I think that having a little bit of a legal-edged theme would be fun (we are both lawyers, as are most of our friends), and other days, I think it would be too much - even a little silly. Well, today is one of those days when I indulge myself. With Microsoft paint.

So here's my super-simple mock-up of my only-if-every-swears-it-isn't-crazy legal monogram. Of course, someone would have to clean it up and make it look pretty, but his is basically what's been suck in my head for a while now. Maybe now that I've let it out, it'll stop tormenting me.

heady

2008-11-24T08:17:00.000-08:00

I admit it. I have a hat problem. I have nearly as many hats as I have pairs of shoes (and I love shoes too!), and I probably have more hats than purses! I love hats, I love the way I look in hats, and I love the drama of hats! unfortunately, there are not nearly enough excuses to don a bit of head adornment. But on a girl's wedding day, anything goes!

Cocktail parties call for cocktail hats!

Halloween 2008 - a lollipop tiara AND an awesome wig! And yes, those are amazing, glittery false eyelashes - another favorite that will reappear in some form for the wedding(minus the glitter, I suppose)!

Halloween 2007 - giant hat, and false eyelashes (again)

Horse Races - Is there any better excuse to wear a big hat?!

Another great horse race = another great hat!

I originally thought that I'd go with a traditional, long veil for the ceremony, and then a birdcage veil (easier to dance in, but even more dramatic) for the reception. Then it occurred to me - this is the perfect excuse to wear a hat! I still like the idea of a very traditional, long veil for the ceremony, but what about a birdcage veil WITH a hat for the reception!? Obviously, it couldn't be too high of a hat, because I still have to be able to twirl under an arm without knocking it off (these are serious considerations, people!), but a nice, understated hat - something like a fascinator+. Yeah, that's it. I really love my black cocktail hat - I wonder what something like that would look like in white?

from walkermillinery.com

Sunday Organization

2008-11-23T14:29:00.001-08:00

I had a lazy weekend, and a long to-do list. So, of course, I worked on the things that didn't really need to be done urgently - like organizing my wedding research thus far into a spreadsheet! There is something incredibly comforting about a spreadsheet. I like having everything in one place, with neat rows and columns, all lined up with numbers in the same place, where they are easy to compare, AND easy to find again!

Now, thanks to the magic of googledocs, I can check it and update it at work or at home. No more sticky notes!!!

Warning: Goo ahead

2008-11-22T20:06:00.001-08:00

Mr. L is coming to my family's for Thanksgiving with me this year. I'm so excited. It's extra wonderful because this is the first year that my mom has been the hostess for Thanksgiving! I honestly can't wait to have a long weekend with people I love, and to help out with Thanksgiving dinner. Hopefully, some time soon, I'll be settled down and in a house, I'll be able to play hostess. I can't wait to have people come to me!

photographers

2008-11-19T12:18:00.000-08:00

I totally buy into the need for an amazing photographer. I have an awful memory, and it's even worse when I'm emotionally excited, and I'm terrified that I won't be able to remember all the special details, or I'll miss that sweet expression on my grandmother's face if I don't have an amazing photographer to capture it. An honestly, I'm a little narcissitic. There were several years in middle school-high school when I was extra camera shy, so there is honestly no photographic evidence that I even existed for most of the 90's. And I don't like that. I like a record of my existence (and I'd prefer if it's a record that glosses over my lumpier parts, ~~and my awkward stances~~ actually, I like the bizarro poses).

Scott Hayne is one of those amazing photographers. He's based out of Norfolk, VA, and is kind enough to keep a blog to show off some of his amazing images. I've killed entirely too much time drooling over them since I discovered him this afternoon. And I'll keep drooling until I see the price list, I'm sure. A knottie used them and recommended them, and I'm just so impressed.

floral arrangements

2008-11-17T10:54:00.000-08:00

In keeping with the blue and white theme, I'm tempted to go with blue and white china vases for the flowers. I'm still partial to hydrangeas, but considering some sort of white flowers too. So here are the basic ideas:

Blue hydrangeas in plain, white vessels. Something clean and low, and simply elegant.

Something delicate and white, with just a touch of dainty blue - evoking a colonial feeling, perhaps. I especially like this for a historic venue.

Or my latest "oooooh" moment. An almost oriental vase, white with tons of beautiful deep blue patterning, overflowing with a single type of bloom - probably sticking with white flowers to keep it from getting too busy. I feel like this looks the most elegant (but that might just be because I love the feel of this inspiration photo!).

I'm it!

2008-11-14T06:41:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by the awesome Sezzy, of Suffering Love, who is in the same pre-engagement situation as I am. I'm way flattered that she

Here are the rules:
1) Link back to the fabulousness that tagged you and list the rules on your blog;
2) Spill 7 random facts about yourself;
3) Tag others, cause that's how the game of tag works (only I'm too shy to do this);
4) Comment to let them know they've been tagged.

Wow, seven whole things about me that I probably should not put on the internet:

1) When I was little, I was in an Oscar Meyer Wiener commercial. I was just one in one of many groups, and was probably only on tv for 2-3 words of the jingle, but I sang my heart out. More importantly, they gave me a giant blow-up OM wiener! I loved that thing, and took it to the pool almost every day for at least one summer, and was uber-skilled at jumping into the pool while 'riding' it. This sounds a little pervy now, but I was young and it was just cool to me then! I still remember how upset I was when I took it to the beach and some shells in the sand punctured it.

Ah, memories. This looks just like mine! I wonder if my mom has a hidden picture of mine somewhere.

2) In law school, I'd only use green bic highlighters. I would buy them in bulk at Staples. And I did actually use each one until it had no ink left. I thought they were the best color by leaps and bounds (and I still do). Green is light enough that you can easily read through it, and dark enough that I could write actual words in it and read them without squinting.

3) I hated my nickname growing up, and finally pitched enough full-blown, only-child tantrums about it that my entire family completely stopped using it. Now, I kinda like it, and wish that I had a nickname in the family. But that ship has sailed, and I was the one navigating.

4a) I was a college drop-out. I graduated high school at 17, and had no idea what I wanted. I tried college, but was incredibly unmotivated, and ended up dropping out/failing out. Yuck! So I moved in with my boyfriend-at-the-time, and worked low-wage jobs. Although he was by no means the reason that I was so directionless then, breaking up with him has become completely connected with getting my life together in my memories. When I left him (because he was cheating on me), I went home, went back to school, and was focused. I graduated 2.5 years later with my B.A., and three years after that, I graduated from a top 25 law school (and yeah, I'm proud of that).

4b) I was a ballroom dance instructor. After I dropped out of undergrad, I was looking for a job, and totally tumbled into a position at a local Fred Astaire studio. I walked in with no experience, and they trained me. I was actually pretty good (but no where near ready for any national pro competitions). I had several students who won local and regional competitions though. I actually really loved it, but the co-workers can be pretty shady, and the costs (of costumes, shoes, etc.) far outweigh the money you make.

Sadly, this is about the only picture I have of me dancing.

5) I can't dance. Not freestyle, out at the club dancing. Seriously. It's BAD. the fiance (then boyfriend) of a friend once videoed us dancing at a law school event. After I saw it, I swore I'd never dance in public without a partner again. That lasted about 6 months. I just enjoy dancing too much! I dance around my apartment. I dance in the car. And when I think no one is looking too closely, I even dance on the treadmill. A few weeks ago, I did a mirror maze, and I danced the entire way through that (and then through a game of mini golf).

6) Pump It is on my ipod workout mix. And every time it comes on, I want to box. As in, while I'm running on the treadmill, I really want to punch the air in front of me - usually just a basic jab, but sometimes an uppercut or hook. And usually, I let myself. I try to conceal it as just runner arms (you know, bent at the elbow, swinging back and forth in opposition to my legs), but there are loose fists, and there is some extra ooomph coming forward. And sometimes, when I'm in the car, I'll punch to the music to keep awake (but, of course, I'm careful not to punch the windshield... hard).

Maybe if I did more punching, I'd look like this. ...or not.

7) I love to climb things! I don't think a vacation is complete without climbing something - trails, rocks, sculptures, trees, signs... whatever is nearby. I have tons of pictures of me in trees. And I think that's awesome! (And I wear flip flops whenever possible. This means that I do a lot of climbing in flip flops. And I think that's awesome too).

Notice the Rainbow sandals on my feet here.

reception flip flops

2008-11-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

I love the idea of having slippers for wedding guests to slip into at the reception. I don't imagine that cozy bedroom slippers or particularly nice flip flops will fit in my budget. we do have a collective 6 years of law school to pay off, after all. So I've been looking into some more affordable alternatives.

First, I saw this pattern for paper slippers on foldingtrees! Way too cute, and I could use any paper and perfectly match the wedding. Too cute! But I wonder how well they would adapt to a variety of foot sizes. Hrm. And can you imagine all the time I would have to spend folding?! I imagine that they most cost effective way would be to buy paper in rolls, but I wonder what it would really work out to be? And would people slip on the dance floor if they were wearing paper slippers? (But they are WAY cute!)

Then I thought about the little slippers that they give you at the pedicurist. They come in a variety of colors and are slightly more substantial, and I wouldn't have to worry about sizes - they are intended to be one size fits all.

And they're only $.33 - that's a big point in their favor. But I worry that they are too obviously cheap. And that people won't slip into them because a) the flimsiness will make them uncomfortable, b) women wearing hose won't want to deal with the toe thong, c) they won't be obviously noticeable, or d) people just won't have a problem with dance barefoot/sock footed.

So, in the end, is it worth doing half-way, or should I just commit to full fledged flip flops or nothing?

The talk

2008-11-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

I am very fortunate to have a best friend who comes with a great family! I love them as if they were my own. They have access to the Americas Mart in Atlanta because of their business (which is an awesome story of small business success!), and they have used this access to buy wholesale jewelry before. We'd discussed the idea of my future husband taking advantage of this access too (so that I could end up with a larger ring for the same price, of course), but always in the abstract, along many years of relationships of varying degrees.

Now that it looks like it will really happen, my friend brought it up again, and her parents said that they'd be happy to help us get access to the Mart. Now, the next show isn't until January (OMG, that requires patience), and I had to actually broach the subject. In general, I think we can talk about anything, but he's avoided talking directly about this sort of thing, so I've been trying to dance around it (not that he would agree with this statement - he'd likely say that I've been very blunt and confrontational). But for him to know that this was an option, I had to actually bring it up myself. I was terrified!

But I did finally bring it up. I tried once and backed down, but the second time, I actually made myself say it out loud. And he responded perfectly. He asked a few questions to make sure that he understood what I was really talking about/offering up, and then said he'd think about it as a possibility. So, I'm stuck still guessing (for all I know, he may have already bought it - he did have all day Tuesday off) if and when and how. Which, honestly, I kinda like (although it is driving me a little crazy). And lets me relax too. I can tell myself that it's probably not going to happen yet, because he's probably waiting to get the ring that way. So it's win/win (at least for me).

ribbons make me happy

2008-11-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

I recently discovered the Wish Special Events blog, and it is a wonderful resource, especially for weddings around the DC area. They have everything from venue reviews to tips on the cheapest place to rent chairs, to, most recently, info on secret (at least from me) ribbon outlets! Purr. I want to take a trip to buy ribbon now. Unfortunately, I probably need to do something about my current (excessive) ribbon stash first.

My other favorite ribbon source? The J. Crew outlet in Lynchburg, VA. One weekend each month (pretty much), they have an even bigger sale (as in, shoes in the catalogue are $200, in the outlet are $70, and at the outlet sale are $7) that's held in the actual warehouse, and it's a mad house! But there are also amazing deals to be had, and they actually sell their ribbon (like, the ribbon used for belts or flip flops). It's in giant bolts (at least for ribbon), and it's way cheap! I love it! But... this is part of the reason that I now have way too much ribbon.

STD postcards

2008-11-12T12:25:00.001-08:00

Warning: math ahead.

I really want to do STD magnet postcards. I imagine a postcard that's a magnet - STD info on the front, and a mailing label stuck right to the magnet on the back. And according to the USPS hot line (yes, I called), they do still only require 27 cent postage. Rock! They'll be amazing!

So, I've been checking out the usual online culprits for cheap printing, and it looks like vistaprint comes through with the cheapest on this one - for 100 (I have no idea how many I'll need, but this seemed like a fair estimate for price comparison's sake), it's only $49.99 for regular postcard sized magnets (that's .50 each, for those of you who are as math challenged as I am - I double checked on the calculator). (Plus $4.95 to upload the image.)

However, if I do a STD magnet that's business card sized, and rubber cement it to a postcard, that may end up cheaper (although that makes me wonder even more about the postage changing - USPS is sneaky!). I can get the magnet from vistaprint for 17 cent/each (assuming 100 again), and the postcards themselves (or really, regular 3.5x5 prints) from adoramapix for 15 cent/each (or $.19 for matte instead of glossy, which may be worth the upgrade) - that brings the new (kinder, gentler) total to $.32-.36 per postcard (+rubber cement and mailing labels, and time to assemble).

Here's the easy summary:

big magnets: $.50/each
little magnets attached to postcard-sized prints: $.32-.36/each

So what to do?! Still assuming 100 STDs needed, that's a difference of only about $14-$18. So really, not enough of a price difference to really lose sleep over. And the bigger ones would be easier and look more like they were intended to be postcards (because they were)... and be less likely to fall apart in the mail. But would people prefer the smaller magnet?

the ring (only not really)

2008-11-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

I love the idea of planning a wedding as much as the next girl (maybe more) - I totally fantasize and love looking at others' weddings for inspiration, and I absolutely file things in mental categories of love, like hate. I even have a general idea of the mood I want. And while I appreciate the beauty in many dresses and ring, I have never had that aha moment where I see a wedding dress or a ring that I love above all others. I ooh and ahh over them, but none have said "I am the one for you". Until last week.

There is a billboard that I pass on my way to work everyday. They recently put up a new sign on it for a jewelry store, and it's basically just a picture of one ring. The ring (to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them). My heart skipped a beat when I saw it.

And honestly, there's not even anything particularly outstanding about it. I'm sure I've seen essentially the same ring before without the heart palpitations and nearly careening into the car in front of me. (Although the billboard photo was straight-on of the side, and I think that makes the tiny side stone stand out more, and generally makes it all more dramatic.) Part of it was that the billboard proudly proclaimed that this ring was called "the Crown" (and who doesn't like that!?), but after a google search to try to find another picture of it, I realized that there are lots of engagement ring settings called some variation of crown, and none of them made me melt like this. Basically, I can't explain my obsession.

And my first thought (after I regained my ability to think), was that this was awful! I'm not planning to pick out a ring with him (I imagine that he would prefer to surprise me, and I completely trust his judgment), and I half expect him to pick out an estate ring, rather than something new (which I am completely on board with). So the chances of me actually getting the ring that caused me to melt are slim to none.

But after a moment, I realized that what this really meant was that I'd get to have two separate time-stopping ring experiences. I know that no matter what ring he picks out, it will make my heart skip a beat too, because it be so much more than a piece of jewelry. It reminded me how much I want that surprise, and I know that my heart will go aflutter every time I look at my hand and see the ring that came from him, and that the Scott Kay setting will stop inducing butterflies as soon as I have a ring of my own.

Getaway dress!

2008-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

What a cute dress for leaving on the honeymoon or a bridesmaid luncheon... or even for the rehearsal dinner. I think it's uber-cute!

And right now, the price goes down even more (to $76) with code FANDF at checkout!* Sadly, there is no way for me to justify making wedding-related purchases yet (other than manicures - just in case).

*Thank you, shop it to me sale emails.

visions of navy and white

2008-11-10T06:34:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty much set on a navy and white (possibly with some other accent color in the flowers, like a lime green) color scheme. Of course, this is subject to change if I can't have my late summer wedding. I don't think I'd really like navy in the spring. (I imagine I'm going to cling to my dream of a September wedding until it becomes silly - I may give up if I still don't have a ring in mid-January).

And now I've found the most beautiful dress ever! I want this for my BMs!Never mind that it was a one-of-a-kind vintage dress that is now sold. It's beauuuuuuuuuutiful. And I adore the stripes! I really want almost nautical stripes!

I'm already imagining it with a cute little bolero to cover their shoulders (if they want). Sigh.

Organization

2008-11-08T15:04:00.000-08:00

I admit it; I bought a Wedding planner. I was too ashamed to buy a full-fledged, made-for-it wedding planner. Instead, I came home with a cute binder and some tabbed dividers. Sure, this won't guide me through the timeline/budget/whatever it is that the "wedding" planners do, but then, do I really need the encouragement?!

Basically, I just wanted to have one place (other than the stack of papers with my bills, etc.) to place all of the lists and such that I'm finding. I hate duplicating my own efforts!

The tension builds

2008-11-03T12:05:00.000-08:00

He dropped a hint that he was actually looking at rings last week. And at first, it really was a complete relief. It made me a little excited that it might be happening soon, but my more rational side understood that he is not one to move quickly. I was actually content just to know that we were on the same page. I was zen.

And then nothing happened this weekend. But I was still pretty zen. And then I got an email from him this morning in which he was fantasizing about us actually being in the same city... and part of this fantasy was that I could move back in with an (amazing and perfect) old roomie. Mind you, I can't move until next September because of my work situation. In my mind, I would be getting married then, and moving into a house with him.

His email completely killed me! I know I'm being way emotional, but I read that to mean that he doesn't really want to marry me ever! I was/am devastated. Sure, it probably just means he doesn't want to rush. And sure, that's probably a good thing. But really, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. And I can't even blame hormones.

So right now, I don't want to think about planning or pretty dresses. I just want to kick him. And that's not very nice.

Finding Vendors

2008-10-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

Of course, there are all the traditional routes for finding vendors - the bridal magazines and websites and referrals of friends. Unfortunately, all of my friends that are getting married/have recently gotten married chose completely different locations from those I'm considering, and i can't help but believe that there are some gems that aren't listed in the advertising directories. But I do trust recommendations!

Totally gratuitous picture of Barboursville

While I am obviously not working with any vendors yet, I am perusing websites and such, and I was surprised to find that some of them are incredibly helpful! The Barboursville Winery has a handy-dandy list of recommended vendors on their website, as does Festive Fare Party Rentals (and theirs provides complete contact info on each vendor). How freaking nice of them! I love when people put lists together for me. Now, if only there was a way to convince all vendors/venues/etc. to give a handy-dandy price list on their websites!

engagement portraits

2008-10-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

I was able to tour the West Wing a couple of weeks ago, and it was a wonderful experience! One of the highlights was looking at the pictures taken by the White House photographer. Many of the photos hanging in the hallways were regularly changed out to reflect what Bush, Cheney, and staff had been doing recently (for instance, a photo with the latest foreign dignitary to visit). And there was one hallway in particular that housed the President's favorite photos of himself.

It was an ah-ha trip for me. Clearly, the take-away point is that I desperately need an amazing professional photog to follow me around at all times and capture all the moments that I'll want to remember, and to eventually get a flattering picture of me. Right?! Well, it gave me engagement photo inspiration, at least. I may not be able to finagle my way into having portraits done in the rose garden or at the Crawford ranch, I can at least bring an element of my life into them.

Since we are both lawyers, and I do currently work in a courthouse, I would love to do a session in a courtroom - I imagine way over-the-top editorial-esque photos with us standing on top of the tables on the opposing sides of the room wagging fingers at each other, and a sweet photo kissing behind the bench. Maybe even a photo of him cross-examining me (with me on the witness stand). I think it would be sweet (and a little sassy). The question is really whether he would be willing to do something so quirky.

We are also both food people. We both love to cook (although we rarely get to), and he is a huge foodie. So I'd love a session in the kitchen. Just pictures of us making a cake or lasagna together. I imagine flour and icing everywhere, and both of us in aprons.

Finally, I desperately want a picture of us together with me holding a gun, pointed at him. I had the dubious reputation as the girl with guns in law school, and frankly, I think it would be a way to laugh at how silly I'm being right now, desperately hoping that he'll eventually actually get me a ring. ;) I think this would be perfect on the trail that I always walked in law school - the Chessie Trail. It was a rails to trails project, and it's all wooded, with a river on one side and fences on the other side. It was perfect for walking Hershey without having to keep him on the leash (but don't tell, because there was definitely a sign posted (which no one paid attention to) that said pups needed leashes), and it was so relaxing. It was sheltered from the wind, and shaded in the summer. Pretty much perfect.

Ah, if only I had an unlimited budget. How on earth to afford a photographer for a week?

Oh no!

2008-10-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

The boyfriend and I both love history. He's a native Virginian, and if you've even met a Virginian, you know all that that means. It comes with a certain awe of The Commonwealth. I've decided that I find this endearing, and with most things, it works out well.

The Virginia House

For instance, plantations. How can you not love the grandeur and sprawl and sense of history that a well-restored plantation evokes?! So... I've been looking for plantation wedding locations. And I found the perfect one. Seriously! It was moved to Virginia brick by brick and rebuilt near Richmond. And it's amazingly beautiful! Can't you tell?! I WANT IT!

The Virginia House Gardens

I even convinced myself that it wouldn't be too expensive since it's not as well known as the Biltmore Estate, and is owned and operated by the historical society. Right? A quick perusal of the website yielded no info on renting it out - it just said to call. I called, and there was a menu option for special events - I pressed it. The recorded voice had the audacity to tell me that they no longer do weddings!!! What does that mean? When did they? Why don't they now? Would a very grumpy woman yelling at them convince them that they wanted to deal with that kind of crazy again/more? My dreams=dashed.

Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC

*Honestly, if I could have anything I wanted, I'd have the ceremony in the Library of Congress and the reception at the White House. But I can't have everything I want. Sad.

Groom, optional

2008-10-27T12:49:00.002-07:00

I am not engaged. Nonetheless, I'm planning my wedding. I just like to be on top of things like that. So there.